Being the center = bad

My second post of the day, ugh i hate this. Why did i choose to be the center of everything because its not fun. I have decided to officially be a guy on the side looking at things happening in the center, its a big mess to be in the center, and only tools/losers would aspire to be at that spot and not be happy with what you have which is the peace and quiet. I've have gotten to a point where i'm Right now sitting in my spot in the lounge with no real person to talk to about the way i feel.

If you look at friendship like a ladder and the higher up you are on a ladder the better friends you are with that person. i feel like i have dropped a lot on many of my "inner" circle friend's ladders, while they are all still up there in my friendship ladder its not the same anymore. My actions have caused this downfall, and i know its mainly my fault, but that was me trying be something i wasn't. I was experimenting on life in the center, but as i said that dosn't always work out. Now i'm back to having my normal life that I want to have which is what i had in high school. Which is have that tight inner circle of friends, and then everyone else. Without the legit inner circle and having just everyone else means you have no one to talk to about things that are bogging you down which me naturally are many things.

So now i gotta change the way i act, and such to reaccommodate myself into the college picture. Because at the moment i'm that one kid who knows everything about everyone which is nothing to be proud of. I don't want to be the "BARH INQUIRER". I want to be one of those ppl who look at the inquirer and laugh at it. Its gonna be a long and hard process to completely switch roles but i beleive i can do it. This is where i stand and i'm sticking to it. First semester of college = semester of experiments, from now onwards i'm the person that i usually am, still be that guy that talks to everyone but i'm not going to go out of my way to initiate any convo.